narc-assisted-fix
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
  Gummed Down

Dinosaurs are back!!! Thats right get out there and get one and if you cant get one make one here's how. Take one part old people two parts lizard and combine let sit for 10 minutes then serve if your dinosaur is experiencing slight memory loss send it to Florida where it will promptly die.

On my way to blockbuster I thought why not let my mouth and my mind enjoy a beverage so I picked up a Yoohoo and went straight to the subway. Before I could finish something struck me I picked it up and thought "good thing a loonie hit me" until it happened again. I was being sniped from where? and from who or whom or whem? I needed time to think up a good exit strategy for all I know I could be getting shot by a TEENAGER and that kind of scum keeps plenty of pocket change. I took up camp in a nerby ally and traded clothes with a bum unfortunately he used his new powers for evil, gained access to a hotel, and took a shit in the lobby. A mistake? never! it was an unforseeable event. My only mistake was on a Harvard Calculus final and I wasn't even wrong ahahhahahahaa.

I took a mirror out so I could look around the corner and the bastard smashed it. My plan had worked perfectly inside the mirror were the deadly spirits of Karatae and a bubblegum it was all released in the snipers direction all I had to do was wait.

"You thought these Karatae spirits would stop me?"

he was behind me instantly but how?

"Do you have any last request before I digitize you with this loonie"

"Can I have that gum?"

I failed to mention that the mystical gum was in fact Bazaooka Joe which meant after 5 min of chewing I had the equivilent of a lead bullet. Pretending to tie my shoelace I loaded the projectile between my middle finger and thumb and flicked the bullet into his eye. Score one for the big gun, however, half way between my victory dance I was flagged and told my bum attire was not fit for the NBA.... Jeez

Dont let the horses dress themselves, we will dress them, then we will race them.
 
(narcissistic-fix):n. A drug for individual satisfaction

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