Saturday, February 18, 2006
  I'll Have The Wine and A Hot Burning Flag

I haven’t posted in a long time because someone thought it would be a smart idea to try and Google “Google” and my laptop exploded. She said she was trying to find the back of the internet so she entered the word exit in binary code. After a few seconds a burning bush came on screen which she swore was going at 1000 fps but I think she’s a God damn liar. All of this is not important what is important is the message she was given from a saint. That’s right Saint Valentines in all his decapitated glory came to my friend, Alexis, in a vision, a vision so bright and wonderful tiny clams could be heard rejoicing in the ocean.

She told me Mr. Valentino wanted her to fix the middle-east yesterday and that she better get on it or else. Well Alexis has always been “how bout it” so recognizing the threat Saint Valentine posed she grabbed his throat and said game on. Now some might not believe a girl could be that intense but you need to see my friend Alexis she is about 6 feet and I am pretty sure I saw her eating small children for energy. She told me that just as she put Valentine down Cupid came and started talking some bullshit about love and crap. Before you go to middle-east you need some practice in breaking heads and taking names so she grabbed Cupid’s quiver and stabbed him with one of his own hearts and put a mirror in his face. Everyone knows Cupid is made of love so when he fell in love with his love the intense combination made his heart explode. Right after, Alexis took two large bites out of Cupids wings and flew to Saudi Arabia.

The problem was what could she do to mend the deep sociological divide between the countries of the middle-east. She laid in the oil fields for hours until it became very apparent what needed to be done. Fucking Pictionary, a game used since the ancient times of Egypt to bring everyone together (that’s right those are not hieroglyphics and those fucking beard wearing anthropologist know it). Gathering some of the greatest Pictionary countries of the world together she began a mass tournament of intercontinental champions. So I think that has brought you up to date and now I will explain why you needed that anecdote.

The finals as we now know came down to Europe and the Middle-east being represented by Denmark and Palestine respectively. Now is it Denmark’s fault that out of 2,800 words they happened to pull out Muhammad, peace be upon him, or is it Palestine’s fault that at the same time there was a Denmark flag surplus that needed to be dealt with. No, I don’t think it was anyone fault and I think the blame should be put squarely on those Parker brothers but that’s just one bout it opinion.

If pencils have erasers why don’t erasers have pencils….. think about it.

I think that it really is the erasers that have the pencils and NOT the other way around.
Post a Comment

<< Home
(narcissistic-fix):n. A drug for individual satisfaction

2006-01-29 / 2006-02-05 / 2006-02-12 / 2006-03-19 / 2006-03-26 / 2006-04-02 / 2006-10-22 / 2007-10-14 /

Powered by Blogger